All I Wanted to Say
by healerkou
Summary: When Sango has to face her worst fears, is she really as strong as everyone thinks? Lucky for her, true love never dies. MirokuSango. [COMPLETE]
1. Sorry I Never Told You

ALL I WANTED TO SAY 

Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, the richest woman in the Universe.

**This story takes place later in the series and movies when you know for damn sure how Sango and Miroku feel about each other. It's told from an omnipotent POV but mostly focuses on Sango for now. It's lame and cliché so far, but I promise it'll get better. This is my first Inuyasha fanfic, as well as the first fanfic I've written in about 3 years. Please be gentle.**

Sango knew that people thought of her as strong. A warrior. A person of almost infallible morals. In many ways, they were right.

But what they didn't know was that at night she would close her eyes and dream of her friend, her companion…her Houshi-sama. She would dream of their eyes locking, then in a moment of understanding their lips would go together in a passionate kiss, and he would bring her body close to his, their most sensitive areas brushing together causing a fire to build inside of Sango that only one thing would extinguish…

Then she would wake and see him sleeping so close to her. He would look so innocent and peaceful, with a little bit of drool creeping out of the corner of his mouth.

As the Inuyasha crew traveled miles together each day, and as the days turned into weeks and even years, Sango finally realized that she had fallen in love with her friend, Miroku.

She didn't want it. She never asked for it. But there it was. Love. She had made a silent promise years ago to her little brother, Kohaku, that she would stop at nothing to kill the demon who had imprisoned him, Naraku, and free Kohaku from his control. In a perfect world, nothing would have gotten in Sango's way. She had always traveled alone before coming across Inuyasha's group, and there had even been times when she had regretted joining up with them because she knew better than anyone how dangerous it is to care for others. Especially mortals. She could lose them all again, just like Kohaku, her parents, and her village. But, still, she knew how helpful they would be in battle and in locating Naraku, so she went along. It was the logical thing to do.

It had nothing to do with the handsome monk with eyes the color of fresh lavender. Really, it didn't.

She always knew love would definitely get in her way. She just didn't know it would happen so soon.

"Sango?" The monk in question broke her from her reverie. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine!" Sango replied, a little too loudly. "I was just thinking."

"About?" Miroku inquired. He usually knew better than to push his luck with Sango, but his instincts told him something important was happening.

"About how we haven't been in battle for a while. I'm itching to get to it!"

Miroku knew her well enough to know that she was lying, but decided to let her get away with it. "I see. Well, I think the lack of demons is a blessing. We might even get a chance to truly rest tonight. I know I wouldn't mind finding a nice spring to cool down in."

"Me too," Sango said, getting that far-away look in her eyes again. Miroku sighed.

That night, Miroku got his wish.

"A spring!" Yelled Shippo, the excited little fox demon. He jumped around, transforming into things for fun and to show have relieved he was. (You know, like a balloon or an octopus. Though they could never quite tell what he was supposed to be.)

"Ladies first, I guess," said the disgruntled half-demon, Inuyasha. He was always disgruntled, so that part was nothing new, but his grudging politeness was something he had been learning slowly but surely from Kagome.

The priestess from the future smiled at him, "Thank you, Inuyasha! Come on, Sango-chan, let's go get a bath!"

Sango followed Kagome behind some large boulders and the two girls began to remove their clothes. They usually let Shippo bathe with them since he was just a little kid, but he had run off to gather firewood. Everyone in the group understood that Shippo got scared sometimes and didn't think he was much help to the group, so he would put forth the effort to do little things for them. It was really very cute.

When the girls finished folding their clothes and got into the water, Sango said, "Kagome-chan, can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Her friend smiled at her.

"Have you ever been afraid of losing Inuyasha in battle? I know he's strong, but we've fought some enemies that are even stronger. You always seem so brave, so I was just wondering."

Kagome's face turned serious, and she sat silently for a moment thinking of how she would word her answer. Finally, she spoke.

"Sango…everyone gets scared. It's human nature. Just because I'm from the future, or because I have some spiritual powers, doesn't make me any braver. I would think you're much braver than I am, anyway. But, yes, I do worry. I do get afraid that the next fight will take Inuyasha away from me…or any of you, really. I care for each and every one of you in different ways. You're…the best friend I've ever had. You're not catty and gossipy like the schoolgirls I know. I look up to you a lot. I want you to know that."

Sango turned a bit pink around the edges and said, "That means so much to me. Thank you. I didn't know you felt that way. So…since we're alone, and being honest, there's something else I wanted to say…"

Unfortunately, Sango's train of thought jumped the track due to some noises coming from the surrounding woods. She stood up and went to grab her clothes when Shippo came hurling out of the woods.

"Kagome! Sango! Come quick! A big butterfly demon is attacking Inuyasha and Miroku!"

The two girls looked at each other and said, simultaneously, "Butterfly Demon?"

"It's scarier than it sounds, I swear!" Shippo said, grabbing their hands, "Let's go!"

The girls threw on their clothes and ran after him.

When they reached the clearing, it was indeed a giant, disgusting butterfly-looking insect that was attacking their friends.

"Hiraikotsu!" Sango yelled, throwing her giant boomerang at the demon. (Never leave home without it.)

The boomerang, made of demon bone, sliced through the demon's large wings, but only slowed it for a moment.

Not even giving the two girls a glance, the demon continued attacking the men of the group. Miroku stabbed at its body with his staff, but hardly made a dent. Inuyasha unsheathed Tetsusaiga and was about to unleash what (he's pretty sure) would be a death blow to the creature, when the insect used one of its sharp, giant legs to angrily brush Miroku out of the way. Unfortunately, what may have been just a swipe to the creature left Miroku slashed, bloodied, and unconscious.

"Houshi-sama!" Sango wailed, running to crouch down by his side.

What if this was the moment she had feared? What if it was really happening? What if all the guilt she had about falling in love without first rescuing Kohaku had kept her from saying the things she should have said, and now she'd never get another chance? What if he died without knowing….

"Sango?" Miroku opened his blurry eyes to take in her face. "Sango, get away. It's dangerous."

"Dangerous?" Sango was confused. "The demon is way over there and…"

Then she knew what he meant.

"Oh. Get your hand off my ass, you ass."

Miroku grinned up at her. "Just wanted to get that in there in case this was my last chance. No slap?"

Sango gave him a sad smile. "Not today."


	2. All I Wanted to Say

Back at Kaede's temple, Miroku lay recovering on a soft mat while Kagome helped Kaede cook dinner for everyone.

Inuyasha had defeated the butterfly demon with little fuss after Miroku had been injured, and gave its dead body one last irritated kick just for good measure for hurting his friend.

Kaede had assured everyone that Miroku's wounds were not serious and that he should be able to travel again in about two days, maybe three if the pain in his abdomen was still too great.

Sango had been in and out of Miroku's room ever since their arrival, bringing him water and fluffing his pillow. Kagome smiled to herself. She already knew what Sango was going to admit to her that night in the springs, and was just annoyed that the moment was ruined. Hearing her friend's confession would have been the best thing that happened to them recently, since shards were few and far between. She also would have been able to tell Inuyasha, "I told you so." Their private conversations about the Taijiya and the Monk had always gone the same way.

"They like each other. I mean, they REALLY like each other," Kagome had said to Inuyasha, being as straightforward as possible.

"Of course they do, stupid, they're friends!" Inuyasha had replied. Kagome gave him a quick smack on the head and exclaimed, "No, they LIKE like each other!" At that statement, Inuyasha's eyes had grown large and he had sputtered, "No they don't! You're such a dumb girl!"

He then received an abrupt, "Sit!" which ended the conversation.

But Kagome knew she was right.

Inside Miroku's room, Sango had brought him yet another cup of water and a fresh towel compress.

Miroku smiled up at her and said, "You don't have to keep doing this. Kaede said I'll be fine, and I believe her."

"I believe her too, of course," Sango replied, dipping the soft towel into some warm water and placing it on his abdomen under the blanket, "but it seems when either you or I is injured, one ends up caring for the other. That's the way it is, and I don't mind."

Miroku caught her hand in his as she was raising the blanket back up around him. "Why do you think that is, Sango?" He asked, fixing her in what he liked to think of as his "honesty stare."

Sango's cheeks flushed a bit and she answered, "Coincidence?"

Miroku let go of her hand and closed his eyes. He was silent for so long that Sango thought he must have fallen asleep, but as she got up to leave he grabbed the sleeve of her yukata and pulled her back down.

"It's more than coincidence," he said quietly, his eyes still closed, "and I think you know that."

Sango lowered her head, covering her eyes with her bangs. Miroku continued.

"I'm going to die…"

"No you're not!" Sango interrupted. "Kaede said…"

"Not right now," Miroku cut her off, "but maybe soon. I'm cursed, Sango. I use my Kazaana a lot more than I should in battle, and each time I put more wear and tear on it and bring myself closer to death."

"You should be more careful," was all Sango could think to say. Why was he telling her this now? He was wounded and should have been sleeping, but was instead talking about his Kazaana. Sango didn't quite see his point.

She also didn't know what she could possibly say or do to comfort him. There had been many, many times in the years they'd known each other that he had come to her when she needed someone most, and spoken soft words on encouragement to her. Or, sometimes, had said nothing at all. He had just sat quietly with her, and let her think. Just knowing he was there helped.

Slowly, Sango leaned over Miroku and whispered, "Are you in very much pain?"

The expression on her face and tone of her voice made him pause. "A bit. Why?"

"Just a bit?" She continued.

"Yes, Sango, just a bit."

"Good."

With that, she closed the distance between them and kissed Miroku with all the passion she could muster. She did it in the way she had seen some of her friends back in her home village do it. Miroku returned the kiss with exuberance, practically raising himself off his mat. Sango gently pushed down on his shoulders to keep him in place. She blushed because his response was so passionate.

They ended the kiss at the same time, and Miroku pulled Sango down to lay with him. He covered them both with his blanket, and rolled over top of her. He flinched a bit, but decided to ignore the pain since what was about to happen was so very much more important.

They made love that night, and the next morning Sango woke refreshed, a little sore, but extremely happy. In fact, she hadn't been as happy since before Kohaku…

She rolled over to find Miroku still beside her. She placed her hand on his cheek to caress it. It was cold.

"Houshi-sama?" She immediately sat up, and pulled the blanket away from him. She shook him.

"Houshi-sama!" Her voice was becoming shrill as he still didn't respond. She rolled him onto his back and placed two fingers under his nose, feeling for a breath.

No breathing. Cold skin. Face as white and blank as Death.

He was gone.


	3. Too Late to Hold You

"I just need time to be alone with my thoughts. I need to grieve in my own way," Kagome said, standing at the edge of the well.

"You'd do better here with me! I mean, with us!" Inuyasha insisted, holding her arm.

"Inuyasha," Kagome said, fixing him with a hard stare, but unable to keep tears from forming in her eyes, "don't make me say it."

Inuyasha let go of her arm and stormed off into the woods.

Kagome turned and gave Sango and Shippo one more hug, and Kirara one last pat on the head. She lingered by Sango.

"Sango-chan…if you need me to stay, I will. I'll stay for you, because I know how hard this is for you."

Sango forced a smile and said, "Thank you, Kagome-chan. But, no, you need to be with your loved ones right now. I'll be all right. Kirara won't let anything happen to me, will you, Kirara?"

The small (and adorable) cat demon had jumped up on Sango's shoulder and gave a small "mew" in agreeance.

With a nod and a smile, Kagome jumped into the well and was gone back to her own time.

As soon as she was out of sight, Sango's smile faded. The lonely demon exterminator lowered her head and walked away, in the opposite direction of Inuyasha.

"Sango, where are you going!" Yelled Shippo, but he made no attempt to follow. Sango didn't answer.

Because she didn't know.

Miroku had died in his sleep sometime in the early morning hours, while Sango rested peacefully next to him. They had decided not to take that step until Naraku was defeated, and it never became an issue. After all, Sango still couldn't even bring herself to say the word "love."

Even that night. That night when she gave in to her fears of losing him, and gave herself to him. She knew it wasn't something she would have done even just a few years ago, because she always planned to wait until she was married. But it was OK this time, since she knew she and Miroku would be married once Naraku was gone. They would live together, and have a happy life with many (uncursed) children and Kohaku as a doting Uncle.

And then Miroku was gone, and Sango was alone. She felt like a fool.

'Stupid daydreams. That's all they ever were,' she thought to herself. Kirara mewed at her with concern when she saw her companion's tears start to fall.

Apparently, her actions with Miroku had caused more damage to his wounds, and an infection had crept in and quickly taken over his already weakened body.

So, really, it was her fault. She was so afraid of having regrets, that she caused the biggest regret of her life.

Sango sank down to her knees at the foot of a tree and wept.

TOKYO, PRESENT DAY

Kagome had been sullen all day in school. Her friends were very concerned about her, thinking that she was becoming ill again. After school, they followed at her heels the whole way home.

"Kagome-chan, what's wrong? You've looked so sad all day. Did you break up with your boyfriend?"

Kagome's expression didn't change, though she was struggling to find the words to explain to them what happened, without really telling them anything.

"A friend of mine has died," Kagome finally said, choosing the direct approach. Her friends gasped.

"That's awful!"

"I'm so sorry!"

"Is it anyone we would know?"

Kagome shook her head. "No, he's not from here. He was one of my friends from…out of town. There was an accident. Everyone thought it wasn't that serious, but he died from it."

The three girls with Kagome looked appalled. "How could that happen?" they all wanted to know.

"I only wish I knew," Kagome said with a sigh.

Since her head was down, Kagome didn't notice the boy with black hair, pulled back into a small ponytail at the base of his neck. Nor did he notice her, apparently, since they ran straight into each other on the street.

"I'm so sorry!" the boy exclaimed, steadying Kagome by her shoulders before she fell. "I didn't see you!"

"It's all right, I wasn't looking where I was…" And then Kagome looked up into eyes the color of fresh lavender. Her eyes widened and she stuttered, "Mir…Miroku?"

She passed out in a dead faint.


	4. You've Flown Away

**Author's Note: Hi! I just want to thank everyone who gave my story a chance, and who have gone out of their way to leave me some nice comments! This story has begun writing itself, so I'm not sure how much longer it'll be. Anyway, thanks again for putting up with my weird writing style and weirder story. Everything I write is usually very tongue-in-cheek because I don't take a lot of things seriously, but I'm really trying with this story!**

**I also wanted to note that my readers will never find random Japanese words throughout any of my stories. If people are wondering why simple words aren't written in Romanji like in most other stories, it's because I find that silly. It's an English story, so there's no use in pretending it's anything else. The only Japanese words or terms I will ever use are the suffixes like "-chan" because that adds to their relationships with each other, and of course "Houshi-sama" because, well, that's what Sango calls Miroku. I'm certainly not going to translate that to "Monk", nor would I change it to simply "Miroku" because I feel it loses something. That's why the dub of Inuyasha drives me nuts. Well, among other things.**

**If you read this, thanks for your patience! On to chapter four!**

"So you're saying I look like this friend of yours?"

His name was Toshihiko Motosuwa and he was born in Kyoto 18 years prior. Kagome had a hard time accepting that, though.

"You don't just look a bit like him," she was trying to explain. "You look EXACTLY like him. I would think you're related to him, except I know he never had an heir! He had no other family that I'm aware of."

Toshihiko thought on that for a moment. "Well, I don't know what to say. It must be a strange coincidence."

Kagome frowned. She no longer believed in coincidence.

"Anyway, I'm sorry for running into you before. You have a good day." The young man stood up from the table at the little outdoor café where he had been speaking with Kagome. Kagome would have just let him leave, but when he lifted his backpack something caught her eye.

Beads. Blue prayer beads.

"Wait!" She said, catching his arm, "Where did you get those?" She indicated the beads.

"Oh, these old things? They've been passed down in my family for generations. I just keep them around for good luck. It's superstitious nonsense but…never mind." Toshihiko blushed a bit and turned away, "I should be going now."

"Tell me," Kagome heard the hint of desperation in her own voice. "Please, tell me the story that goes with those beads."

Toshihiko sat back down and closed his eyes. "All right, as you wish."

"The story begins 500 years ago. It's said that there was a monk who fought with honor and died in battle, and left these beads with his true love. She was pregnant when he died, so he never knew his son, but the beads were passed down to him and to every generation since. They're not just ordinary beads, however. They say that before he died, the monk used his spiritual power to place his soul within them, so that he may lay dormant for as long as it takes before he is returned to the woman he loves."

When he saw the expression on Kagome's face, he stopped. "Um…that's the whole story, pretty much. I guess it's sad, but don't worry. I think it's silly that he would have put his soul in the beads to be reunited with his love, when a normal person would just die and know that he'd see her again when she died, too. Right?"

Kagome had gone completely still and quiet. Suddenly, she jumped up, nearly knocking Toshihiko out of his chair.

"I have to go!" She screamed back at him, already sprinting home as fast as her legs could carry her.

Toshihiko yelled after her, but she just kept on running.

Kagome didn't find his story silly at all.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE FEUDAL ERA…

"Don't get me sick!" Inuyasha yelled at Sango, showing his usual amount of compassion. Sango barely heard him, because she was too busy throwing up behind some bushes.

When she was done, she came back to Inuyasha and Shippo looking pretty green around the gills.

"Did you eat something bad?" Shippo asked, innocently.

"I don't think so," Sango said. But that was all she said, because he'd rarely spoken more than two words to her traveling companions since Miroku died.

Kagome had been gone for a while, and the more time passed the sicker and more lethargic Sango felt.

'Maybe I'll join you soon, Houshi-sama,' she thought to herself everyday. What was really depressing is that she was looking forward to it.

"Inuyasha! Sango-chan! Shippo-chan!" The three travelers (and Kirara) turned to see Kagome on her bike coming down the path behind them.

"You're finally back! About damn time!" Inuyasha exclaimed, trying to hide his delight.

"We have to go back to Miroku's grave!" Kagome said, before she even stopped her bike.

"What! Why!" Sango yelled, upset that her friend would want to hurt her like that.

"It's just this theory I have. I think Miroku did something before he died. I think he knew he was going to, and used the last of his energy to cast a spell…"

"You've gone crazy," Inuyasha proclaimed, ever the expert on such things, "All of this is too much for your feminine mind, and you've gone crazy. It's OK, Kagome, I'll,.,"

"SIT!"

Inuyasha's face hit the dirt.

Kagome grabbed Sango by the shoulders and barely refrained from shaking her. "Sango-chan, listen to me. There was this boy in my time that looked exactly like Miroku. He had some very old blue prayer beads and he told me a story about a monk and the love he left behind. The…pregnant love."

Sango threw up.

"I knew it, " said Shippo with an evil grin.

Sango glared at the little fox demon. "How could you know anything?"

Shippo puffed up with an air of importance and said, "Because you've been acting just like my oldest sister did when she was pregnant. She was cranky, tired, and throwing up all the time."

Sango lowered her head and said, (with little conviction) "I am not cranky."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes.


	5. Knowing You're Hearing Me

**Hi, welcome back! Things are progressing nicely with this, and it's about to get really interesting. I'm sorry for writing 5 chapters of set-up just to get to this point, but I had to. Thanks for all the nice comments so far, though! You guys rock!**

At Miroku's gravesite, the group hesitated.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Inuyasha asked, looking somewhat disturbed but trying to hide it. "I hope you don't want to dig him up."

Kagome looked equally as uncomfortable. "I'm not sure. We need to reunite his soul with his body…so we might have to."

Sango turned to her friends, looking a bit better than she had in weeks. "You say his soul is supposed to be in his beads, right?" Kagome nodded. "Well, here," Sango continued, pulling off the traveling bag she carried around her shoulders, "I have them here."

Kagome smirked. "You took them? I didn't even notice."

Sango nodded, "I wanted something of his. I didn't think he'd mind. And I guess it's a good thing because otherwise they'd be down there with him. We'll just have to put these on him right away so he can control the Kazaana when he wakes up."

The way she said that last sentence, so earnestly and without hesitation, worried Kagome a bit. Kagome was just following a hunch. A hunch that could be wrong. She didn't want Sango putting too much faith into it actually working.

But one look at her friend told her it was too late. Sango had an almost fanatical look in her eyes, and seemed convinced that Miroku would be back with them soon.

Kagome was beginning to wish she'd never opened her big mouth.

That night, Inuyasha and Shippo dug. Kagome sat with Sango, since neither of them could stomach it. Also, Sango kept rubbing her belly and humming to herself in a very un-Sango-like way. The little smile on her face was serene and Kagome was very concerned. She hated to think negatively about her friend, but it was possible Sango had completely lost it. Never mind what might happen if their plan failed.

After several hours, Inuyasha and Shippo came over to the two girls, covered from head-to-toe in dirt and looking grim. Inuyasha was carrying Miroku's staff, which they had buried with him.

"Is it done?" Kagome asked.

Inuyasha shook his head. "He's not there." He threw the staff to the ground by Kagome.

Sango's eyes narrowed and she glared at Inuyasha in a way she never had before. "What do you mean 'he's not there'?"

Inuyasha was starting to look uncomfortable. "Look, just what I said. He's not there. That staff was all we could find. We put it right next to him when we buried him, right? Well, Miroku isn't there anymore."

Sango jumped to her feet and ran to the fresh hole. She first peered over the side, and then actually jumped in.

"Sango-chan!" Kagome yelled, "What are you doing!"

"He has to be here!" Sango called from inside the grave. Her voice was frantic. "He has to be!" She sounded on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"Inuyasha, you have to get her out of there! She could hurt herself, and she could hurt the baby!"

Inuyasha nodded and jumped in. There were some sounds of struggle, then a _thud_, then Inuyasha emerged with an unconscious Sango in his arms.

Shippo blinked at him. "You hit her?"

Inuyasha put her down on the ground, gently. "I had no choice! Look at this lump on my head! She hit me first!"

On the ground, Sango groaned. "Houshi-sama," she whispered. "Where are you?" Then she was quiet again.

"We have to find him," Kagome said, looking down at her friend with determination. "We have no choice."

TOKYO, PRESENT DAY…

Toshihiko Motosuwa sat up in bed with sweat streaming down his face. It was the third time in a week he'd had the same disturbing dream, and it all started after meeting that girl, Kagome.

Pushing back the covers, Toshihiko stood up and pulled on a t-shirt and some jeans. It was Saturday, so Kagome should be home. But where was her home? He didn't understand why, but he felt drawn to that girl and had to talk to her again. He had to know what was so interesting about the blue prayer beads he carried, and tell her about his dreams.

It always started out the same. He saw Kagome in a dark place. He knew it was enclosed, and yet not. He knew she could get out if she wanted to. Then he would see another girl, with long dark brown hair pulled up in a ponytail. He had never seen her before, and yet her presence made him feel…calm. She was wearing some kind of armor, and was smiling at him.

Then the scene would change and the girl in the armor would be heavy with child. She would take his hand and place it on her stomach and say, "We made this."

The last scene of the dream was always different. The first time, Toshihiko felt a pain in his right arm and felt wind blowing around him at incredible speeds. The second time, there was something about a giant spider, and the girl with the armor was crying. This last time, there was a boy with long silver hair and a very big sword yelling at him, but the crazy wind was blowing again and he couldn't hear anything the boy was saying.

The images were so confusing, and yet somehow familiar. The whole experience was upsetting Toshihiko's fragile existence, and he wanted to put a stop to it.

He pulled on his sneakers and headed out to find Kagome.

FEUDAL ERA…

Sango had been out for a few hours, but when she woke she didn't even hit Inuyasha with Hiraikotsu to punish him for what he'd done. That was the first sign something was very wrong.

The second sign was that she wouldn't eat dinner, even though she had been eating like a horse for the past several weeks. She just stirred her Ramen around and around in its Styrofoam container.

The third sign was that every now and then she'd look down at Miroku's beads (which she had twisted around her right arm, which had immediately disturbed everyone) and would just sit like that, looking at them for a long time without even blinking.

Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo, and Kirara were very concerned. Kirara kept vying for her companion's attention, but was ignored. Kagome tried to make conversation, but for once Inuyasha had no idea how to act, or what to say. He was starting to think that at any second Sango would snap.

Very suddenly, Sango jumped to her feet, scaring the living crap out of everyone. "Look!" She said, holding out her right arm.

The beads were glowing. They were glowing a light blue color but were also pulsating like a light bulb that was about to expire. Everyone stared at Sango and finally Shippo said, "Maybe you should take them off?" while he attempted to hide behind Inuyasha. After all, those things could blow at any second!

Sango made no move to remove the beads, but the light got brighter and steadier.

So they waited.

TOKYO, PRESENT DAY

"Hello, ma'am, I'm Toshihiko Motosuwa. I met your daughter a few days ago and we had a nice conversation, so since it's a weekend I just thought I'd look her up again."

Kagome's mother gave the boy a warm smile and said, "That's so nice of you! Unfortunately, Kagome isn't here right now. She's…visiting friends. I'm not sure how long she'll be gone."

Toshihiko's face fell. His disappointment was tangible. "I'm sorry for bothering you, then. Have a good day."

With that, he began walking back out to the street, but saw a little boy coming into the shrine.

"Hi!" The boy greeted him first. "Are you one of Kagome's friends? She's not here."

Toshihiko smiled at the boy. "I know, I just spoke with her mother. Are you Kagome's brother?"

The little boy nodded. "I'm Souta. Kagome may be gone for a while, so I'll let her know you came by. What's your name?"

"Toshihiko. Your mother said something about her being gone for a while, too. Like she didn't know when Kagome would return. Where is she? Doesn't she have school?"

Suddenly, the once exuberant Souta became very tight-lipped. "I have to go now, bye!" Then he ran off into the house.

Toshihiko stood with his hands on his hips for a while, thinking. He brushed his hair out of his eyes, impatiently. In his excitement to see Kagome, he had forgotten to tie it back and it fell in layers into his face and around the nape of his neck.

"So much for that," he said to himself. He started to adjust his backpack and head home when he noticed something odd. His beads were glowing. It was very faint, but they were pulsating with some kind of inner light. Toshihiko's eyes widened.

'They've certainly never done that before."

He was so busy staring intently at his beads that he didn't even notice that he was pacing around the grounds of Kagome's home. He found himself near an old shed, and much to his surprise the beads started glowing even brighter, and the light became steadier. As he walked closer to the shed, the light glowed brighter still.

"O…K…" he said to himself. "Guess it's time to go in." He first looked around to make sure Kagome's family wouldn't see him, then entered the shed. The cold hit him first, then the smell of mold and dust. However, the shed was empty, save for a small wooden well in the center of the dirt floor.

"Weird," Toshihiko muttered. But, weirder still, his beads were almost blindingly bright in the dark shed, and were now glowing steadily.

He felt a desire to get a little closer to the well and check it out. He descended a wooden ladder and stood by the side.

Then he was swept inside.


	6. It Keeps Me Alive

**Hey, chapter 6 time! I think this one might be a little longer than all the others. I was tired of waiting to explain the point of the story, so I continued on until I got to that part. I hope it doesn't seem rushed. **

**I'd also like to answer a question I received in my reviews real quick. Someone asked if this is my first fanfic. No, it's not. I've been writing fanfic for about 8 years now, though my fandom has changed over time. This is my first Inuyasha fic, and only the second serious anime fic I've ever posted. The other is a "Weiss Kreuz" story under a different name. If you're interested and like that show, it's listed under "Cristi1". But be aware you'd be in for 11 Chapters and an Epilogue with that one. Scary.**

**I swear I don't mean to be so long-winded! Carry on...**

Sango knew she was acting strangely. You could say she hadn't been herself since Miroku's death. But, the truth is, she had finally decided to stop pretending like she didn't hurt inside. She had only ever shown weakness where Kohaku was concerned, but this was different. She had already lost so much. Now she had lost the chance to love. Maybe she was being melodramatic, but in her young life she had never felt the way she did about Miroku before. He broke down her defenses and made her weak in the knees. The way he could always make her blush, the way he'd take her hand, the way he'd kiss her….

Hell, even the way he'd touch her butt.

All that was gone. But, then, Kagome practically gave her a second chance. Hardly anyone ever gets a second chance at life, or love. It was a chance to take back a mistake that was made, or words that were said. Well, in this case, words that weren't said.

If this failed, if they couldn't reunite Miroku's soul with his body…if Sango really had to be without him…she knew she would die.

Being strong for everyone had gotten so tiring. She didn't know how Inuyasha did it all the time.

She didn't even care about the baby. She knew that was terrible, but she knew she couldn't raise it alone. What did she know about raising babies? What did she even know about giving life to anything? All she knew about was taking life.

And what if it looked just like him? How could she stand to look into those eyes everyday and see what could have been? It would tear out her soul every time, and make her miss him even more. She would be living with the thought that he finally got the heir he always wished for, and would never even know.

She was so tired of missing people.

Miroku had made a promise to her that if they killed Naraku (and of course survived) they would be together. Sango had tried to be positive since that day and truly believed they would all survive. But that was just selfishness on her part. Selfish, and childish. She had wanted the end result so badly…a life with Miroku…that perhaps she had gotten careless.

And, once again, she felt as if everything was her fault. For just not being good enough.

He said they would live together and have many children together. He lied.

While deep in thought, Sango had finally dozed off. She hadn't been sleeping well on top of everything else. In her sleep, she mumbled the words, "You lied."

Kagome had been sitting by her friend, watching her sleep. No one else seemed to be as concerned that Sango was acting like a completely different person, and not the strong girl they had come to know and love. Kagome, however, noticed every little change. She also heard the words Sango would whisper in her sleep. It broke Kagome's heart, knowing those words were directed at Miroku.

Inuyasha was curled up by the fire, supposedly asleep, but Kagome noticed his ears twitch. Inuyasha's head then came up and he sniffed the air.

"What is it?" Kagome whispered.

"Someone's coming," Inuyasha said. "Someone human. Most likely male. I don't think it's anyone dangerous, but come over here just in case."

Kagome got up and went to sit by Inuyasha. She knew it was best not to argue when he got protective. In fact, Kagome really loved that side of him.

In the circle of light that their campfire provided, a boy stepped out of the woods. He was a little taller than Inuyasha, medium length black hair framed his face, and he was clad in jeans and a t-shirt.

Kagome gasped. "Toshihiko-kun!"

"…And then I came out the other side of the well, and my beads vanished." Toshihiko finished telling them.

He had been sitting with Kagome and Inuyasha telling the story leading up to him following the light from their fire to their campsite, and in the process had woken up Shippo who Inuyasha had to quickly subdue to keep him from yelling and screaming about the walking dead.

No one had woken up Sango.

Inuyasha was still staring at Toshihiko in wide-eyed wonderment. "You really do look just like him," he said for the millionth time.

"I wonder why your beads would just disappear like that?" Kagome mused, but no one could answer her.

No one noticed as Sango stirred under her blanket and sat up. At first glimpse, what she noticed about the boy sitting by the fire was his odd clothes. Then, she noticed that it was Miroku.

"Houshi…sama?" She said, so quietly no one could even hear her. Then, louder, her voice cracking with emotion, "Houshi-sama!"

Sango leapt up and ran to the boy, not even caring why he was wearing strange clothes, or why his hair was different. All she cared about what that he was alive.

She threw her arms around the boy, knocking him down. She had so many things she wanted to tell him, but at the moment could only manage to weep into his shoulder.

"Um…hello, miss." The-boy-who-looked-like-Miroku said.

Sango lifted up her head and looked at him. "Don't call me that," she said, "After all I've been through. It's cruel."

Toshihiko got up slowly, depositing Sango on the ground by the fire as gently as he could. "I'm sorry," he said, earnestly, "but I don't know what else to call you. I don't know your name."

And that's when Sango's world shattered…again.

"I'm having a thought," said Inuyasha. Shippo could barely contain himself from saying, "that's a first."

"What if Miroku's body vanished when this guy arrived in our time, and the reason his beads vanished is because Sango has Miroku's beads right here? What if two of the same thing can't exist in the same time?"

Kagome thought about that for a moment. "That's not a bad theory. But that would mean Toshihiko is the exact same person as Miroku. That's just silly. I mean, he could possibly be a reincarnation like I am, except reincarnation only has to do with a person's soul. That's why I don't actually LOOK like Kikyou, and we know Miroku's soul is trapped with a spell. So he couldn't have been reincarnated."

Everyone had to think on that point for a good long while.

Sango had finally calmed down after much coaxing from Kagome, and was listening intently. She hadn't really added to the conversation before, but finally spoke.

"Can a person be born without a soul?"

Everyone turned to stare at her.

"I don't know," Kagome said. "I guess it's possible. If there was some mistake, or someone used magic."

"I've been thinking," Sango continued, "What if Miroku (it felt strange to say his name) accidentally ruined any future reincarnations by doing that spell? I mean, what if reincarnation was MEANT to happen, but because there was no soul, it happened badly? What if generations of his reincarnations have lived and died, never having had their soul? And what if this boy, who just happens to look like his predecessor, came along and by some coincidence just happened to wind up here, since Kagome opened the well for the first time in ages? What if he was always meant to come back here eventually and complete his destiny?"

The whole gang looked at Sango in amazement.

"You know, Sango," Kagome finally said, "You might be on to something there. Toshihiko said his beads started glowing when he got near the well, and your beads must have started glowing at the same time, though you might not have noticed it until later since it was daylight then. It really would explain why Toshihiko's beads are gone, and Miroku's body is gone. Because both are one in the same."

Sango looked at the boy called Toshihiko and held out her right arm. "I believe these belong to you."

Toshihiko reached over, shyly, and removed the beads from Sango's arm. "Thank you," he said.

Sango smiled at him. "It's the least I could do…my love."


	7. Shining Down on Me from Heaven

It was unfortunate, but Toshihiko seemed to be avoiding Sango.

While the Inuyasha gang plotted and planned on how they were supposed to try and get Miroku's soul into Toshihiko's body, the boy from the future paced uncomfortably and averted his eyes from everyone.

Especially the pregnant demon slayer.

Sango was hurt at first, but then realized she shouldn't have been so rash as to speak to him like he was actually Miroku. She only hoped that when they figured out how to reunite his soul with his body, he would remember everything up until their night together, and his death.

The group had gone back to Kaede's temple to get her assessment on Toshihiko, and sure enough she had sensed no soul in him. Kagome did some readings of her own, with Kaede's help, and got the same results.

Now it was just a matter of time before the Priestesses figured out how to undo what Miroku had done.

Toshihiko had finally calmed down and was sitting outside on the steps when Sango approached him. She quietly sat down next to him, but he knew she was there. Still, he just kept staring straight out into the woods beyond the temple.

"Toshihiko, was it?" Sango finally said. Her voice was soft and gentle, and completely devoid of the madness that had almost claimed her.

The boy finally turned to look at her, and Sango felt a surge of pain. She would just have to get used to the fact that this strange boy with Miroku's eyes wasn't exactly Miroku.

At least not yet.

"Yes, that's right," he finally said. "And you're Sango, right?"

Sango nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "I wanted to apologize about before," she said, blushing a bit. "I wasn't really myself, plus I thought you were someone else."

Toshihiko nodded. "I know, you thought I was your husband."

Sango looked startled, "Well, he wasn't my husband. Not yet, anyway. But I do love him, and you look exactly like him. I've been missing him very much these past few months."

Toshihiko nodded in understanding. "Don't worry about it. Let's just start over." He put his right hand out to her. "Friends?"

Sango stared at his hand for a moment. The palm was whole, and uncovered by any glove or magical bonding. She took his hand in hers and said, "Friends."

Toshihiko smiled at her, and Sango felt that jolt of pain again. She tried to ignore it.

"You know," the boy said, "I've been doing a lot of thinking. Everyone seems so intent on turning me into this Miroku guy, no one has even asked me if it's what I want. Isn't it up to me at all?"

Sango was speechless for a moment. What was he talking about? Why wouldn't he want his soul back?

Finally, she said, "Of course it's up to you. But…a life without a soul can't possibly be a good one. In this time, our time, if someone is without a soul they are simply dead. In your time, or at least in your situation, there seems to be some exception to that rule. Or, who knows, Miroku's spell might have been the catalyst giving generations the ability to live normal lives. Either way, could you truly say you feel like a whole person now? Knowing what you know, would you go back to your time and forget about us and what could have been?"

"And what about you?" Toshihiko countered. "Perhaps you're just trying to convince me to go through with this out of desperation. You've lost the father of your baby, but suddenly a guy shows up who looks just like him, and you get a second chance. Well, you know what? I'm not him. You are a stranger to me. I didn't even know your name until a few hours ago. I've never held you, never kissed you, and I've certainly never given you a child!"

He stood up quickly and started walking towards the woods, leaving Sango in shock. She couldn't understand why he had suddenly gotten so angry with her. She only wanted what was best for him!

Didn't see?

"Where are you going!" Sango yelled after him, tears flowing freely from her eyes.

Toshihiko did not look back.

He couldn't stand to see how he'd hurt the woman of his dreams.

* * *

Sango waited up all night for him. Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was paranoia…either way, she couldn't sleep while he was out there alone.

Sometime just before dawn, Toshihiko snuck back into the temple. Sango heard footsteps and knew it was him. After all, he had the same footfalls as Miroku.

She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. Then she felt a presence standing above her, looking down on her for several minutes. She kept her breathing deep and even, so that he would never know she was aware of him watching her.

She was curious as to why he was watching her sleep, of course, but assumed it had to do with the fact he had a lot on his mind. She was just relieved he came back at all. He knew where the well was, and could have easily been back in his own time, sans soul and never to return.

Sango suddenly heard and felt Toshihiko lean down, closer to her body. In an almost dream-like voice, barely above a whisper, she heard him say, "We made this."

Then he stood up, and left for his own room.


	8. I Know Eventually We'll Be Together

**OK, readers, we're getting down to the wire. I think this should be finishing up in another chapter or so. No sense in dragging it out. Anyway, even though I'm ususally very ciritcal of my own writing, this chapter got me excited, so I hope you all like it too!**

The next morning, Toshihiko was missing again.

"Maybe he didn't come back at all last night," Kagome said. "I hope he didn't decide to go back already!"

"He came back," Inuyasha assured her, "I heard him come in really early in the morning. He must have just run off again."

"I'm right here!" said a voice from the temple gates. Toshihiko ran up to where Kagome, Inuyasha, Sango, and Shippo were standing just in front of the doors to the room he was supposed to have shared with Inuyasha.

"Where the hell have you been?" demanded Inuyasha, crossing his arms.

Toshihiko glared a bit at the half-demon and said, "I've been up all night…thinking. This is a hard decision you all have given me, but I've finally decided…"

"Decision?" Inuyasha interrupted, "I wasn't giving you any decis…"

"SIT!"

Inuyasha plummeted into the ground, and Toshihiko continued on as if that was something he saw everyday.

"…That I'm going to do it. I think that if I just went home, I'd still be missing something. My whole life I've felt different, and now I know why. This must be a pretty good soul, since it granted Miroku with friends like all of you, and blessed him with such a special girl." The last sentence was said as Toshihiko's gaze fixed directly on Sango, and held her eyes. She blushed profusely.

"This is great! Let's get to it, then!" Said Kagome, clapping her hands together.

Kaede came out of the temple (she'd obviously been eavesdropping) and said, "The alter is prepared. Kagome and I shall perform a ritual spell that we discovered late last night in the temple archives. With our spiritual powers combined, it should be enough energy to give Miroku's soul the life force it needs to enter the boy's body."

Under his breath, Toshihiko muttered, "I have a name, you know."

Sango walked over to Toshihiko's right side and took his hand. "Here," she said, "We'll need to put this on you properly."

She started wrapping a brace around his arm, with an attached glove that would just cover the palm and top of the hand, leaving the fingers free. It was purple, and soft to the touch, but it had clasps on the bottom. As she wrapped it, she placed papers inside, that Toshihiko recalled were Buddhist in nature and written with the spiritual words for exorcism. That concerned him quite a bit.

"What is all this for?" He asked, trying to ignore the red alert that was going off in his head.

"It's to contain the Kazaana, of course," Sango said, as if that explained everything. She slipped a gold ring engraved with similar Buddhist markings onto Toshihiko's middle finger as she spoke, and then wrapped the blue prayer beads around the glove and secured them.

"The what now?" He said, prompting the entire group to stare at him.

Kagome slapped her hand to her forehead and exclaimed, "I knew we forgot to tell him something!"

Toshihiko didn't like where this was going.

* * *

"…So it's really not so bad," Sango finished explaining to Toshihiko, and gave him a smile that was obviously forced. 

His eyes had become still, as if he were looking into his own mind. He was staring straight out, but obviously seeing nothing. Dark purple orbs, the color of nightfall in the summertime, gleamed in the firelight of the temple.

Finally, he spoke. "So you're telling me that once I get this soul in me, not only will I probably remember everything Miroku ever did, in essence becoming him, but I will also be affected by some life-threatening CURSE that's attached to him?"

Kagome giggled, nervously. Inuyasha shot her a look that said, 'Should I just beat the crap out of him and put him on the alter?' She almost nodded at him, but then thought better of it. It would probably be best to approach this like adults.

"Toshihiko-kun, you HAVE to!" Kagome cried, throwing a bit of a tantrum. "It's like FATE! You have to be together with Sango-chan!"

Shippo rolled his eyes at Kagome's embarrassing display, and Inuyasha looked at her like she'd gone nuts. Sango was just speechless. Then again, she shouldn't have been surprised, since everyone knew what a romantic heart Kagome had, and how she had always been "secretly" watching from the wings, waiting for Sango and Miroku to get together.

Toshihiko looked at Kagome and curtly said, "I don't HAVE to do anything. This is my life, and I'll do what I want. Now if you'll excuse me…"

He got up and left the temple again.

* * *

Sango was following him, using her hunter's skills to move silently and gracefully. She stayed back several yards, and stopped when he reached a pond and sat down on a large stone. 

With his back to her, he called out, "You can come out now, Sango."

Startled, she emerged from the tree she was hiding behind and stammered, "H-How did you know I was there?"

"I don't know," Toshihiko said, his back still to her, "For some reason, I just always know when you're around."

Sango approached him slowly, and sat down at the base of the stone, with her back against it.

They sat in companionable silence for a long time, just listening to the sound of insects around the pond, and the occasional lapping of water as a warm breeze blew in.

"Sango," Toshihiko said, "How long have you known Miroku?"

"Well, as long as I've been with the group. Maybe four years. I'm not sure. Why?"

"When did you realize you loved him?"

The question seemed to come out of left field, and yet Sango didn't even miss a beat before saying, "After about the first year. We had already been through so much by that point, and he always seemed to show special concern for me when I was injured, and would stay to tend my wounds. I knew, deep down inside, he was a good man. Sure, he played the part of womanizer well, but after a while I think he was just going through the motions. He was smart, too. He always knew helpful myths and legends, and he was a brave fighter." As she spoke, tears came to her eyes,

"He has saved me more times than I can count. And not just in a physical sense. He's the only man that has ever broken down my defenses, especially since my people were killed, and my brother was taken from me. Sure, I still slapped him when he groped me, but it was like our game. If he hadn't done it in a while, I actually started to wonder if he didn't like me anymore!"

Sango laughed then, and turned to Toshihiko. "I'm sure you're a fine man in your own right. And I'm sorry if it seems like we're forcing you into this, but Miroku is…was…a good man, too."

Toshihiko slid down off his stone perch and came to crouch down at Sango's side.

"Please stop crying," he said, taking her in his arms, "It kills me when you cry."

Sango stiffened a bit in his embrace, but then relaxed. It was so easy to pretend he was her Houshi-sama. Her tears quieted a bit.

The two were so intent on each other that they didn't notice the demon scuttling out of the woods towards them. Being astute at such things, however, Sango did sense it just before it stuck a sharp feeler into Toshihiko's back.

"Get down!" She screamed, pushing him backward.

It was a damn Butterfly Demon. The same variety that had critically injured Miroku. Like hell Sango would let it do the same thing to her again.

Sango took the feeler in her thigh, but crawled out of the way fast enough for it to miss anything important. She kept pushing Toshihiko until he was behind the large stone again, and then joined him.

"What the hell is that thing!" He said through gritted teeth.

"Don't worry about it," Sango said, her eyes blazing. "I'll take care of it."

With that, Sango leapt up and attacked the demon with a flying kick to its antenna, completely ignoring the pain in her thigh. The demon gave a high-pitched shriek and flailed about, knocking Sango down.

As it did so, Sango fell onto a sharp rock, directly at her abdomen. She gasped as all the air was knocked from her lungs, and a dark red stain began to spread down the lower front of her yukata.

"Sango!" Toshihiko screamed. The sound of her name coming from him was so primal, for a moment he didn't even realize he had said it.

And at that same moment, the beads on Toshihiko's arm began to glow and pulse like they had before. Except this time, the light spread throughout his whole body, until he was glowing. Then, it was over almost as soon as it had begun.

The boy with tousled back hair hanging in his eyes, wearing clothes covered in grime from 500 years in the future, raised his right arm and yelled one word.

"KAZAANA!"


	9. One Sweet Day

Everyone was once again sitting out from of Kaede's when Inuyasha sniffed the air with a confused look on his face.

"They're coming," he said, "But I smell blood and…something else. Something's different."

No sooner had he said that then a form emerged from the woods, cradling something in its arms.

"Sango-chan!" Kagome cried, running up to assess the damage done to her friend. She immediately noticed the red stain on the lower front of her torn yukata, and the blood dripping down her legs as Toshihiko carried her.

As for him, the young man had a blank expression, and walked staring straight ahead to Kaede's temple. He didn't even glance at Kagome when she came over, and continued walking right past her.

Inuyasha and Shippo parted to make way for him, and Kaede stood in the doorway of the room where Miroku had died, waiting for them.

"Bring her inside and close the door," she ordered.

* * *

It was several hours before Kaede exited the room where Sango lay, and addressed the others.

"She will live," Kaede began, and was immediately interrupted by Inuyasha.

"That's what you said about Miroku, too, you old hag!"

Kaede glared at him, but decided to ignore his comment and continue. "But the child she once carried is no more."

Kagome gasped, Shippo started to cry, and even Inuyasha was speechless.

Kaede watched them all react, and struggled with the idea of whether or not she should tell them the rest. Finally, she decided to continue, since they were the closest thing Sango had to family.

"There is one more thing. There was permanent damage done to her in that battle…she will never be able to bear another child."

"It doesn't matter," said a familiar voice from behind Kaede. Everyone looked up to see Toshihiko standing there, looking a mixture of somber and angry.

"First, I left her with the burden of my child. Then, I couldn't protect her until it was already too late. The death of our child is my fault. If Sango still wants me when she recovers, I will spend the rest of my life devoted to her."

With that, the young man looked down at the coverings on his right hand, and seemed to get lost in his own thoughts.

"Um…how did you stop that demon?" Kagome asked, breaking him from his reverie. The way he had spoken just then had been so familiar.

"I remembered," he said, not looking up. "I saw Sango get hurt trying to protect me, and it was like déjà vu. There were so many times before when that same thing happened. Something inside me changed, and I could remember everything."

Shippo went over to stand a little closer and asked, "Did the Kazaana come back?"

"That's how he defeated the demon," Inuyasha piped in, first. "I knew there was a difference between this guy and the way he was before. He has the Kazaana now."

The boy in the grubby shirt and ripped jeans looked up to face his friends, and for the first time since he'd been there, he let a tiny smile touch his lips.

"I missed you all."

* * *

Sango opened her eyes to see him sleeping next to her. She reached out to touch him, just to make sure he was real. He stirred.

"Sango?" he said, sitting up, "You're awake?"

"Yes," she whispered hoarsely. "You're all right? What happened to the demon?"

"I defeated it while you were unconscious."

She opened her mouth to ask more questions, but he shushed her. "Later. You need to sleep if you're going to get well."

She nodded and began to turn over, but then said, "The baby is gone."

"Yes."

"Miroku would have been upset. He always wanted a child more than anything. Half of it was because of the curse, but I think the other half was that he just loved children. He would have been a wonderful father."

"Sango…" he turned her face towards him. "I don't need a child to complete my life anymore. All I need is you, and to defeat Naraku!"

The fire in his eyes. The strength in his voice. Sango's eyes widened.

"Houshi-sama?" she whispered.

He drew her into a tight embrace and said into her ear, his voice husky with emotion. "Say my name. Please."

Not sure exactly what he was getting at, she said tentatively, "Toshihiko?"

He smiled into the crook of her neck, his breath hot on her skin. "No. Say my name."

Understanding finally dawned on her, and with all the strength she could muster, the taijiya squeezed him like she would never let go and cried…

"Miroku!"

**THE END**

So thanks for reading! I hope it ended well enough for everyone. I didn't want to torture any poor Miroku fans, since I'm one myself! As much as I love angst, I love Sango and Miroku being together even more.


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